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I Needed a Break

You’re already in heaven, and so are you. “Don’t worry mom, we’ll put you in a robot,” is a sentence recently spoken. Either inspired by the hit show “Black Mirror” or simply logic. The good thing about this (silver lining) is that I will finally have someone to summon from the dead on Halloween. Summer first. Fall, later.

So here’s the confusing tea. Philosophic nothing, really. am i alive? was I ever even born???? Or the usual question- am I dead?

Movies that probably traumatized me as a kid… as well as young distractions that keep me from things. What am I so afraid of losing? And the eternal question, the new question.

A made up sentence that’s holding onto a grudge. The best advice is to just LET GO. “Why are you always standing around in a corner. Well… that’s what I do.” the real miracle is that I’m talking to you, right? That I’m even sane? Okay, everyone gets old, and everyone randomly says profound things that you can’t understand at the moment. Maybe I can’t understand myself, but I can and do and WILL understand you. The mirror is black, and EVERYONE wonders where all of this came from. Motion sickness at its most frequent.

You can be a mom to anything. People, pets, animals… earth. Yet it seems like people only listen to you after you’ve listened to them. I was wondering what you were doing, occassionally, but wouldn’t admit it, because I’m not a cancer. I’m a libra. Tyring sooo hard to please when you’re not pleased and snapping out of envy. There are just too many people in the world, and too little time. And too few things.

Movies that traumatized me as a kid:
The Never Ending Story (relatable)
The Dark Crystal (yikes!)
hmm… what else? I started that anecdote with a different movie in mind, but now I can’t remember what it was.

I can’t remember, but they were usually geared towards children. It’s like “they” wanted us to get screwed up. Or… maybe they weren’t even paying attention. Like, AT ALL.

So, everything is one thing, but also and infinite number of things.

The beginning AND the end.

All I want to do is not have unfinished business. You had so much time, and now you feel like you’ve squandered it? I don’t know, but people are truly good, and suffering and cruelty are unnatural, barbaric, and destructive.

Well, that escalated quickly. GOODNIGHT

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12 thoughts on “I Needed a Break

  1. Happy Valentine’s Day Sammi! What a profound thing you wrote. Yikes! I truly did miss your writing though. I hope everything is okay and this isn’t part of some manic episode break down or anything like that. I’m glad you are who you and that you exist. On a funny ironic note, at the end it says ad supported article with a picture of Donald Trump. Lol Scary world indeed…

    Liked by 1 person

  2. “Movies that traumatized me as a kid:
    The Never Ending Story (relatable)
    The Dark Crystal (yikes!)
    hmm… what else? I started that anecdote with a different movie in mind, but now I can’t remember what it was.

    I can’t remember, but they were usually geared towards children. It’s like “they” wanted us to get screwed up. Or… maybe they weren’t even paying attention. Like, AT ALL.”

    –I felt this, I mean, like it put me a bittersweet place. Gives me goosebumps.

    “You can be a mom to anything. People, pets, animals… earth. Yet it seems like people only listen to you after you’ve listened to them. I was wondering what you were doing, occassionally, but wouldn’t admit it, because I’m not a cancer. I’m a libra. Tyring sooo hard to please when you’re not pleased and snapping out of envy. There are just too many people in the world, and too little time. And too few things.”

    –I have missed this writing. Thank you, Sammi, I hope you are doing well!
    xoxo

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  3. You had an apprpeiate title. Goodness gracious! I felt like (I) needed a break. Not to offend- but, it seemed a bit rabling. Still enjoyable. The Never ending Story was “relatable”? Maybe you were having a Jean-Paul Sartre moment- ‘being and Nothingness’. Take care, Sammi!

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    • No, it wasn’t relatable to me- the fact that people are traumatized by it… I’ve heard the same from a lot of other millennials. This was rambly bc it was stream of consciousness writing 😜 take care

      Like

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